haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
