You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
