I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
