Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
