talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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