look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
