There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
