i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
