do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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