Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
do nipples grow back?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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