at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
