I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
