I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
