I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
