What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
