It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
