the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think my moral compass just broke
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
