I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize