A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
