Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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