God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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