whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Its about making memories worth repressing
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
