I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
