I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
