I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
