I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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