she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
