I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
