totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
