I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
