Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
