everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
third nipple confirmed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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