white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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