so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
