Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She bit a glass in half.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
