Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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