He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need water and some morals
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
