i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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