You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
