Whod you bang
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
