I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
handjob tips. give me some.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
