We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
