If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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