I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
