You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
