Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
