There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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