I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
