You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
