ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
