ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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