I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize