I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
