why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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