worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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