You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
